21st -> 22nd August (Franz Joseph)

Franz Joseph is a street... not a town. Whoever decided that this place should be a major destination for all traveling kind had never been there. If I was driving in a car at 60km/hour I would have just about enough time to say "Oh look, it's Franz Joseph" before I was out the other end. Despite this there were around 5 backpackers and at least three helicopter pads. The whole attraction (and income) for this 'street' was the glacier, Franz Joseph Glacier, so named because some intrepid explorer from Germany decided it looked like the beard of his emperor, Emperor Franz Joseph. He later got knighted for his work for the empire... what a brown nose. Anyway, it was a seriously impressive glacier, moving up to 7m a day (gawp... and I walked on it). When I arrived a British girl on the bus looked equally disappointed at the size of the place, so we decided to check into the same hostel, seeing as we were probably doubling the town's population by being there. It was a beautiful place, no doubt, and we spent the rest of the morning exploring and walking around the various tracks and up to the glacier edge. You weren't allowed on the glacier on your own though. You had to be approved by the DOC office (an explorer's HQ basically) or go on a guided tour. I decided my glacier walking skills were a bit rusty, so did the tour. It was one of the top experiences so far. An eight hour trek over the glacier, through caverns and caves, barely squeezing between two blocks of ice 20m high, separated by a cataclysmic crack. The sheer power of the glacial movement could squish me like a bug. It was great fun. One cubic meter of the ice weighs a tonne, and I was standing on a couple of kilometres of the stuff, 70-100 metres deep, all moving around. It's amazing stuff. The guide said that everyday he carves out a new path with new steps, because the old path has moved or disappeared over night. Every now and then we'd see some old steps from the day before and see where they took us and then we'd have to carve out new steps, zig-zaging up a sixty degree incline. I loved every minute of it, and wished I could have gone higher.

That night we went to Frans Joseph's only bar, which doubles up as it's only cafe, and watched the NZ Vs OZ rugby match. It was great fun, with me and an Aussie being the only non-All Black supporters. It was a good thing NZ won, because at least then they were jolly about it. At one point in the night I was playing pool and a group of people came over and grabbed me, telling me there was a chance for free shots... fair play I thought. The deal was anyone could have as many free shots of the barman's mix as they liked. Simple. Except that the main ingredient (around 50%) was something red, and the bottle had "300 times as powerful as Tabasco" written on the side. One person had taken one but he's disappeared. Now usually I would have realised that it was a daft thing to do, but I had just watched the film YES-MAN with Jim Carrey, so I had to do it. I knew it would be hot so I chucked it straight down my throat and waited. At first it wasn't so bad, I felt pretty macho, but it didn't last. Soon I was sweating, my insides burning, eyes watering and limbs tingling. In short it was very hot. This provided people with amusement for around 5 minutes, and I felt pretty ill afterwards. It was only the next morning that I was told out of four guys I was the only one not to throw up... no girls tried it. Not sure if they were displaying weakness or intelligence... but you can decide that.